Timeline: Mid to late season 5. Was thinking season 6, but i'm not sure of the season enough yet to write in it.
"I was the one who took up the knife. I was the one who let myself be Alastair's little whore." The smirk that followed nearly made Sam puke, "I was the one who enjoyed myself down there. I cut into all those souls - I devoured all those in pain and I loved it all."
Winchester's don't sit ideally by- they walk their own damn selves out of Hell. Just... sometimes they don't come back quite as right as is expected.
Disclaimer: Kripke might be sharing his toys this season, but not with me.
An alternate view of how Dean broke in Hell, and how Cas came to find him. Because I SERIOUSLY doubt a lot of Zachariah's and Michael's plan, and believe that their was a LOT of personal interpretation of the 'facts' by those two. They seem like the type to twist things into fitting their own means.
This is also the second time I've written this - so there's a little less love this time around, as I was pretty pissed at LJ. Sorry..
Song title from Spartan,by FiF
"Get out of my brother!" He yelled, trying to push away from the chair he was being held down in.
It 'tsked,' as it stepped over Castiel's fallen form and sauntered up to his side "I've been here, just under the skin, ever since Dean watched our mommy burn."
Sam's skin crawled, the dark grin twisting Dean's face, damned dark eyes laughing cruelly back at him. "I took my first breath on our front lawn, watching mommy and our house burn. I was conceived outside your bedroom door - watching a shadow stand over you, and push mommy to the ceiling."
It was at his side now, whispering words into Sam's ear, hands on his trapped shoulders. "Little Dean just broke that night. No mommy to put him back together - and daddy just to distraught to notice. It took him *days* to catch on, months to start to really worry."
A shrug now, moving back to stand in front of him, watching Sam strain to break free. "I don't blame daddy. Between mom and you, he had a lot on his plate at the time. And Dean calmed down enough eventually to regain control. But oh - those first months - he just wailed. Had I not gagged us - daddy probably would of slaughtered us just for some silence. Hell - even your crying nearly pushed over the edge when I couldn't get you quiet."
"Like I said Sammy - I've always been here. Just... watching mostly. After Dean got with the program, I took a back seat. He didn't need me anymore - and I as okay with that." Dean's stolen voice turned thoughtful, "Probably for the best - otherwise I'm sure we would of broke off even more. As far as I know - it's just the two of us in here.
"Really - until Hell, we blended back together pretty flawlessly." The demon looked down at Castiel again, voice still soft, "He held on a really long time. Really - the only reason we broke in the first place was that I couldn't sit back and watch anymore."
He looked back at Sam, face level and deadly calm - the black eyes burning with hate and anger, "Dean didn't break in Hell. I was the one who took up the knife. I was the one who let myself be Alastair's little whore." The smirk that followed nearly made Sam puke, "I was the one who enjoyed myself down there. I cut into all those souls - I devoured all those in pain and I loved it all. Just as I am the one who will hold you back."
His voice was stronger now - sure and confident, "I will destroy you Sam - if you keep with this, I will be the one who will tear you apart so small - no one will even remember you anymore. I won't let you become me. I won't let Dean stand quietly at your side as you fuck everything up. Again."
And as confident and high as Sam had ever felt on demon blood - he could not imagine taking this thing on - and not just because it wore his brother's face. This was different, and it creeped him out. This didn't obey the rules, and it didn't play it's script the way Sam was used to. The only thing it seemed to have in common with the monsters they'd faced in the past was how much it liked to hear itself talk. And maybe Sammy was doomed to fall forever for demon lies, but he found himself listening, to even considering what this thing was trying to sell him.
"Who are you? What are you...."
"I told you Sammy. I'm your brother. Just.... the one who mastered the dark side, while you dabbled around in it."
"Dean wouldn't - "
"Really?" Its face twisted and sneered, yelling angerly in his face, "You've been in his shoes? You've played the big brother part - and turned to watch it burn you back? You've watched the one person in all creation that you would give anything up for sit there an degrade you, and belittle you - to your face?! And then, to add insult to injury, just turn and walk away from you? And I wouldn't count any of these last few months, becuase you don't even come close to measuing up as big brother material."
"He wouldn't go... dark side..." Sam whispered softly.
"Your right. That's why I did. I took all that grey for myself, and I took, and I took, and I took. For ten years - I took all that was left of Dean, and made it into this... 'Till one day - where was just this tiny, insignificant speck of your brother left. One little speck of good to my sea of evil."
His voice dropped, and he leaned in so close, Sam could count the freckles on his brother's cheeks, Dean's borrowed breath warm on his face, "You asked me my name - I don't have one. Alastair had a few picked out - I'm sure - but I never graduated into full-fledged demon. Thought about it - seriously considered it. But in the end, I couldn't smooth out that little blemish."
He reached out then, curling Dean's fingers around a lock of Sam's hair, "Who knows - it the angels hadn't been stirring up trouble by then, maybe I would of done it. I wanted it. Just like you wanted that blood. Sammy, all that power and strength was great - but really, it was so much more than that. It was about belonging.... I just wanted to belong to something. Dean and me both...."
"The angels..." Sam prompted, trying to block out the longing in his brother's voice, and tuning his attention to their friend lying comatose on the floor, "You mean Cas?"
It pulled away, following Sam's gaze. "Castiel was one of them at the time, I suppose. There where quite a few. The mid levels where fighting with them, but Alastair didn't really care. It was more a thing of curiosity than anything else." The soft voice was back, "They must of flown past us a hundred times - and never saw us. They didn't look at Dean once - he was so far beneath their notice. Fucking high and mighty pricks."
"But Castiel saw you - right? Cas pulled you out...."
It laughed, a noise that should of been a sneer and a snarl, but sounded fond, "Yeah, because Castiel's a freak of freaks. I don't even think he remembers it anymore either.... I'm the only one left..." The black eyes turned to him, serious. "Dollar to doughnuts, Sammy, the big boys wiped that slate clean when they took angel-boy away for re-schooling. And Dean's head can't wrap around Hell. He's the fucking hero, and he can't even comprehend his own actions. Dean got himself out of Hell - Castiel was just the aide. Never forget that Sammy."
The demon stood straight, wandering off for a bit, its hold on Sam relaxed and gone. Sam flexed his hands, looking at his brother warily.
"Dean isn't you. There are things you are better at than him. But stronger? No. If I'm feeling nice, you're even. But never stronger. When you walk out of Hell, then we'll talk."
"How'd he do it?"
Sam wasn't sure he'd even spoken, the question more fleeting though his mind than his tongue. Maybe he hadn't said it at all, and this monster had just gleamed it out of his head.
"That little splinter couldn't sit back and watch anymore. Dean wasn't gonna let me put him out without a fight. He knew that Alastair was gonna name me - and when he did, what was left of Dean was getting blown out. And he wasn't gonna sit back and let that happen - he wasn't gonna let any part of himself be twisted so indefinitely. Dean took over and tried to off himself." It twisted Deans face into one of Dean's more natural grins - one that should of lit up the room, instead of casting it into shadows.
"Yeah.. that sounds like Dean."
"Dean actually shoved me out of control. The cheeky bastard waited until Alastair was distracted with our heavenly choir boy here, and he shoved me out of the way. He took up our razor, and he cut that sniviling soul I was working on off my rack. Than he handed over that blade, climbed back on, and declared 'No More'. Fucking decreed it."
"And the foundations of Hell shook when the condemned cut into the righteous man, and the ground broke under his blood as it flowed free and was willingly spilt."
Castiel looked like he was ready to puke, as he moved to his feet. Sam rushed to his side, neither stopped by Dean or his passenger.
"And so broke the first seal holding in the Morning Star." it concluded for their benefit. "You remember?"
Castiel shook his head, holding tight on to Sam. "No. But.... It sounds like a legitimate alternate translation of the texts."
The demon's hand hovered over Castiel's mark on Dean's shoulder. "Try anything, and I put you back under. I'm not hurting anyone but you - and I'll go back to watching quietly in a bit. Just had to clear the air before we hit a tipping point."
The angel didn't look happy about it, but he weighted his chances, and kept his mouth shut. The demon preened a little in its victory. "See, I told you he was the freak. Any other angel would of kept on attacking until we both killed ourselves. But this one... No, he sits there quietly, and observes. He fucking learns and adjusts to the situation. Somebody up there clearly underestimates you, Castiel. You should of made general centuries ago."
In return, Castiel says nothing, vessel tense and eyes narrowed in anger. But, still, he says nothing.
The thing in Dean gives its sad smile and shrugs. "Alastair was too busy looking at you when it happened, ya know. You where the distraction Dean used to act upon. Hell, maybe that was the destiny of the whole thing. Nobody else cared what demons did to each other. Just you.
"We all caught you watching at one time or another. It wasn't like with the others and their search. You where actually looking at us. Not in disgust, or anything. Just curiosity. And maybe Pity. But you saw us."
Sam looked at Castiel then, and the angels face softened. A demon who told the truth.
"Maybe you where always meant to fall. You felt for demons, of all things. Or maybe - you where closer to a real angel of God than your posturing brothers." It flinched at the name of God, but plowed onward.
"You had no idea who Dean was - you just saw Alastair coming toward us with murder. You couldn't just stand aside for that - even if it was just one monster beating up on another monster. You didn't know until later that Dean was the one you where looking for. You took a lot of shit from your kin for that, didn't you."
"I don't regret it."
"Zachariah took it away from you, and you still don't regret it. You kill me, Castiel. You're too good for those pricks."
It was quiet for a long moment, before Sam finally sighed, looking at the darkness in his brother. "What about Dean?"
"Castiel blasted that weak thing cutting into him away," it continued on, "then stepped between us and Alastair. Tore Dean off that rack one handed, and just about smote every damn thing in sight. Blew the weaker things completely away. Took me down a peg or two - purified all that grey with the grace of - " it braced itself, word coming out with another flinch, " - God. By the time Alastair started to recover, Castiel had us half way out of the realm. Took a couple nasty hits before crossing realms and bringing us back here. Just a shattered soul and a vessel-less angel flouting on the wrong side of this plane." He snirked, "Didn't think that one out at all, I could tell. If you hadn't stuck us back in our meat as quick as you did - I was about to tear you a new one.
"Freaked Dean out pretty bad - being buried alive.... He got it under control, but we coulda really used your help."
"I could only convince Jimmy Novak so quickly. With out a vessel to filter my power, I can not interact with things on this side of the realm."
The demon smirked, "I know. I know. It's probably my fault we couldn't hear you in the first place. And really - sans Ruby - everything else went pretty well."
"Well?! Well? How has any of this gone well?" Castiel placed a hand on Sam shoulder, holding him back."Thing is Sammy, you never needed Ruby. You just needed me. 'Cause the blood I've got, it's nothing like that swill Ruby was feeding you." He smiled, one of Dean's most charming grins, and Sam flinches and steps away, as the thing tries to hang over his and Castiel's shoulders. With a sweeping gesture, the dark thing motions to the three of them.
"Fallen angel, a risen demon, and the boy king chosen to lead them all. Sammy, nothing shy of the Creator Himself can stop us. Those dicks trying to pulls us by the strings won't stand a chance. We can stop this, little brother. Not me, not you, not Castiel. But the three of us - together. We can take back our destinies." He looked at Castiel then, face serious, "All of our destines. Set things back on the right track. No lies, no secrets. I've got no agenda besides that."
"What's your end, then? What do you want?"
"You two are important to Dean - so, in turn, you're important to me. And I'm done with all this. Just want to go back under and pretend to not exist for a few more years. A few more centuries would be ideal, but i'm realistic. Just praying for a few decades. You just keep Dean alive, so I don't have to come back to play. We have a deal?"
"I think we can agree to that." Castiel's voice was quiet, collective and calculating. Sam didn't say a thing - the word 'deal' hanging in the air and souring his mouth.
The black of his eyes shrunk back into his iris' and pupils, leaving the sclera a deep red. The demon nodded before giving them a mock salute, "Take care then," and the red faded down to its natural white. The black iris' turned a brilliant yellow that stole Sam's breath - had his heart jumping in his throat - before deepening to Dean's natural green.
Dean blinked once, eyebrows knitting in confusion as he looked at the two of them before his eyes rolled back, and his knees buckled under him.